6. When the Beatitudes Became My Reality

-

Audio:


https://youtu.be/LrXJsHEzba0?feature=shared


From 1996 to 2021, I lived as a saved woman, faithful, active, and present in the church. I served, showed up whenever the church doors were opened, and did all the “right” things. On the outside, it looked like I was walking closely with God.


But inside, something was missing.

I had forgotten my heart.


I thought looking spiritual was being spiritual. I thought that outward obedience proved inward surrender. But it didn’t. And eventually, the mask of doing couldn’t cover the ache of emptiness.


It took years for the Beatitudes to come alive in me.

It wasn’t until I truly emptied myself of myself that something changed.  I began to see. I began to hunger. I began to mourn. I began to bow.


I found myself asking, “How did David become a man after God’s own heart?”

David didn’t just follow rules. He delighted in God.   In His Word.  In His presence.  In His will.  And I couldn’t help but cry out in prayer: Lord, I want that!  I want a heart that burns for God like David’s did.  Not just hands that serve, but a soul that delights.


Another question came to mind: Why are so many of us, myself included, living defeated, lukewarm, distracted lives?  Why are we chasing a happiness that keeps slipping through our fingers?


Sometimes it’s the obvious things: comfort, entertainment, approval, and possessions.

But sometimes it’s things we’ve spiritualized: ministry, fellowship, and even sharing the gospel.  All good. But even good things become hollow when they replace the One we’re meant to desire.


We chase happiness instead of the Savior.

We want joy without surrender.

We want abundance without brokenness.


I learned that the Beatitudes aren’t instructions to earn God’s blessings.

They are evidence that God is already at work within us.

The mourning, the meekness, the hunger—these are signs that God is drawing near, shaping us from the inside out.


The abundant life isn’t something we manufacture through effort. It’s something we receive through surrender.


But we don’t believe it.  So we chase the feelings, the highs, and the spiritual to-do lists.  Because those things do give us a sense of happiness for a moment.


But the lasting kind? The soul-deep, can’t-be-shaken kind?  That only comes when we stop chasing and start surrendering.


Next Post Preview:


In my next post, I’ll share how God began to pull back the layers in my heart. He brought me from performance to intimacy and from duty to delight.

The journey isn’t always easy, but it’s where true freedom begins.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Behind the Scenes of a Song and a Savior

-
Audio:  https://youtu.be/aqscOrJX4RM?si=hQFp1cs-Srp6oyv3 In my last post, I shared a thought that continues to shape the way I see God’s hand in the lives of my family. He always does far more for us than we could ever do for Him. I can think of countless times when a simple step of obedience led to something only God could accomplish. Sometimes the result seemed small, other times it grew into something far greater than I expected. In every case, it was clearly God at work, behind the scenes. After my first husband passed away, even in the midst of deep grief, God gave us grace to believe He still had a purpose for our lives. I remember praying, “Lord, what do You want us to do now?” Around that time, my children began listening to a song called I Have Been Blessed. At the time, none of them had any musical training. But something began to happen. First, they would play along with instrumental tracks. Then, my oldest son, Dylan, taught himself to play the guitar. My daughter,...
Read more

1. My Struggles

-
Audio on Youtube: https://youtu.be/l9hikm4K9mM?feature=shared There was a time when my inner world felt like a war zone. On the inside, I constantly questioned my worth. “I am a failure.” “What must people think of me?” “I cannot seem to get anything right.” “I am just not enough.” “This is too much to bear. I want to give up.” These were not just passing thoughts. They were a loop, a constant hum in the background of my life. I did not just direct that harshness toward myself. Sometimes, I caught myself thinking poorly of others, judging, comparing, and criticizing. Then a verse would come to mind: “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”   2 Corinthians 10:5 It would convict me. I would feel this tug toward change, a desire to break free from the cycle of negativity, to live differently. And sometimes, I would. For a little while. But then life would h...
Read more

2. The Answer

-
Audio:   https://youtu.be/4HM8zwjKpYs?si=DJNi3y0GXTlxu9Rt The answer did not come in a podcast, a book, or a clever Instagram quote. Not even a desperate scroll through the internet could save me this time. The answer came when I hit rock bottom. No more quick fixes. No “ten steps to peace.” A realization that I had nothing left. And that is when it happened. That is where the transformation began, not in the noise, but in the nothing. Jesus said it so clearly, but I never understood it until I lived it: “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Matthew 5:3 Poor in spirit. Not rich in answers, not strong in willpower, not full of ourselves, but empty, desperate, needing.   It was in that place of spiritual poverty that He became my everything.
Read more